I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
