you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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