I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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