Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
