you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
