you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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