You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
