I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
