The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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