you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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