Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
