Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
