you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
