It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
