Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
