the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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