did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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