why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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