why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
