Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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