Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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