To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
