i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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