And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
