I want you more than these girls want KFC
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
