she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
