I want you more than these girls want KFC
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
