So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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