Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
