its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
