she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
