I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
