Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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