we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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