Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
