do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
