i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Boobs are out for the taking
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
