I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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