I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
