Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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