he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
