youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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