I wanna bring you to show and tell
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
