I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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