you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
