I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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