I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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