Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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