My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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