Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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