i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
